Onus of parenting

Day in and day out, we encounter countless patients in the OPD, yet only a few leave a lasting impression on us long after the consultation ends.This is the story of one such parent—a mother whose quiet struggle stayed with me well beyond the clinic walls.
It was mid-afternoon just as I was about to step out for my lunch break,an elderly woman walked in carrying a baby in her arms.Her face was stern,grin on her forehead, and a subtle undue anger inside that made her flush.Beside her stood the baby’s mother—dark circles under her eyes, patches of melasma on her cheeks, and a pale, exhausted face that spoke volumes without saying a word.
The elderly lady spoke first. “Madam ji, the baby vomits every time he feeds from his mother. He throws out curd-like milk. No matter how many times I warn my daughter-in-law not to eat oranges,pickle or guava,she never listens! Her milk has become spoiled,” she declared firmly. “I think we should start the baby on formula. Please advise her not to play with the baby’s health and behave responsibly.”
I was taken aback. I paused, gathered myself, and in a calm, measured tone, politely asked the elderly woman to hand the child back to his mother.
I knew I had to dismantle her myths—one after another.And so I began with the most fundamental truth-NOONE in this world could be a better mother to that baby than his own.What followed was a thirty-minute conversation with the grandmother, patiently explaining that the baby was completely normal, that regurgitation after feeds was not a disease, and that the mother, within the best of her abilities, was doing everything she could to ensure her child grew in comfort and well-being.
They both left the OPD in peace. Yet long after they were gone, the encounter stayed with me.I found myself wondering—why is it almost instinctively the mother who is blamed? Why does the onus,the weight of responsibility, so often fall heavier on her shoulders alone?

Share your thoughts.

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Thought-provoking read. It rightly highlights how the burden of parenting- often silently placed on mothers- goes beyond physical care to emotional and mental labour. A reminder for all of us in healthcare to respond with empathy, not judgment, and to encourage shared responsibility in parenting.

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Yes, mother has all the responsibilities no one can better care or nurse her baby…

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Excellently managed. Myths were debunked while maintaining dignity through patient education. In these situations, mothers are disproportionately at fault—cultural conditioning at work. Misconceptions regarding nursing and the health of infants are eroded by each such discussion.

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Lack of knowledge and preconceived notions can push people towards acting irrationally. At the end of the day, the mother and child is one of the most sacred ones.

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Excellentt!

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Older generations are the least interested in learning the scientific facts behind such outdated beliefs, which are often baseless.

Let the word of the doctor let the baby’s mother live in peace.

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Because society still equates motherhood with fault instead of care. When something goes wrong, the mother is questioned first and rarely the system, the myths or the lack of support. Conversations like this slowly shift that burden.

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Mothers are unfairly blamed for everything that happens to their children—a harmful societal taboo that must end.

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it is an unsaid rule that after the baby is born, it’s the mother’s primarily responsibility to take care of everything. She is going through a lot of physical and hormonal changes changes, adding onto this is the mental stigma of old-age people to blame for not following their old-school thoughts. They still believe, we the newer system of baby care has not evolved from them rather than we are following western countries. I believe, mother’s mental health should be given priority with little understanding.

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It’s 2026 and yet people still blame mothers for everything I dont know when people realise its a duty of both, a father and a mother

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God couldn’t be everywhere hence they created Mothers!

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Parents of older generations have this stubborn attitude of what they have thought is always correct. They might never try to unlearn and relearn. It was great work on your part to educate them explain the myths to them in detail. But yeah I also feel sad regarding the plight of the burden of child falling only on the shoulders of mother.

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This touched me personally.A new mother is often confronted and made to deal with mythical knowledge and a loads of superstitions.She is anyways dealing with this new phase and PPD and such things add to her woes.

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This reflects a deeper social bias where mothers are held responsible for everything, often without support or empathy. Your compassion didn’t just treat a baby; it protected a mother’s confidence and dignity.

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A deeply moving and reflective narrative. It powerfully exposes how mothers are often unfairly blamed and burdened with the entire responsibility of parenting, while myths and societal pressure add to their emotional exhaustion. A strong reminder for healthcare professionals to lead with empathy, correct misinformation, and advocate for shared, supportive parenting rather than judgment.

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Good job, its the best way to handle this kind of situation

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This is very touching and sadly so common. Mothers are often blamed first, even when they’re doing their best. Posts like this really highlight the need for empathy, awareness, and support in parenting.

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Yes, it’s true that sometimes some patients memories stay with us. But It shows that we are that eligible to make them understand and help them with their problems. Everyone has one such experience in their life where someone is blamed or either made the center of attention. It helps us to know that there are such kind of areas that needs to be focused by us and spread awareness by us such that it can help them in positive way.