In this busy world where every body is in so much hurry that they don’t have even time to listen properly, It is very rare to find a good listener.
We hear a lot about how to speak well in public, but very little about how to learn the equally important art of listening properly to others.
Being a good listener is one of the most important life skill any one can have yet few of us know how to do it because no one has taught us how to do it. So we came to social life greedy to speak rather than listen, interested to meet others but reluctant to hear them.
Mostly people listens not with the intention to understand, they listen with the intention to reply.
A true communication should always be two sided where one should listen properly while the other is speaking. Active listening makes the speaker feels that you are interested in the talk.
There are a lot of books on ‘How to Speak’ but there is not even a single book called ‘The Listener’.
Things a good listener used to do -
They are curious to know more and deeper
They ask open-ended question not just to interrupt but to encourage the speaker to expand the topic. They keep histories in mind and might refer back to something we said before so that we can feel a deeper base of engagement.
Ask for proper Clarification
The good listener urges a clarification. For example if you say you hate that person or you hate your job. They help us in finding the reason that actually what you don’t like about that person or the job. They clarifies the underlying issues.
Good listeners don’t moralise.
They skilled at making occasional little positive sounds and strategies that delicately signals sympathy without intruding on what we are trying to say. They reassure that they are not going to shred our dignity.
Good listeners separate disagreement from criticism
A good listener makes you feel that they really like you and at the same time think you are wrong. They are powerfully aware that a really loved person could end up a bit muddled and in need of some gentle untangling.
What qualities you would like to see if you are taking to a person?
MBH/AB