Over the past few months, I’ve been thinking a lot about where the line between being kind and undervaluing your own effort lies.
Like many students, I spend hours sometimes entire days—preparing notes, completing assignments, organizing paperwork and making sure I truly understand what I’m learning.
Then comes a simple WhatsApp message:
“Can you send me your notes?”
“Please share your assignment.”
And almost every time, I share.
Not because I have to. Because I genuinely like helping others.
But recently, I started asking myself a question:
When does helping become a habit that others begin to expect?
What many people don’t see is the time behind those notes—the late nights, the skipped breaks, the repeated revisions and the effort it takes to create something useful.
Sharing knowledge is valuable. I believe learning should be collaborative, not competitive.
Kindness doesn’t mean carrying everyone’s workload.
Generosity doesn’t mean your hard work should become someone else’s shortcut.
If I politely say “No”, suddenly I’m seen as selfish, rude or someone who doesn’t like helping.
Why is kindness expected, but setting a boundary questioned?
I believe helping others is a strength. Respecting your own time and effort is a strength too.
Where do you draw the line between being helpful and protecting the value of your own hard work?
MBH/PS