Index client 30 years of male, married for three years with courtship period of three month, visited tio the clinic with the presenting concern of emotional block, doubt about attractiveness, sense of disconnect, resentment and lower sexual desire to the partner. Client narrated that “I truly care for my wife, she is nice, kindhearted and lovable but i am struggles to connect emotionally and sexually with my partner from past few months. I am struggling with nights and freequently thinking that i am not a good husband, and i am unable to honour my partner sexually. I am doubting my attraction towards my partner and something wrong with me”.
He explained the background of himself as coming from middle class family, good premorbid personality and never experienced trauma in his life. Pornography started in teenage years and there is no compulsive activity now. Client got married through an arrange marriage system, good emotional compatibility in daily lives but missing passion and closeness in marriage. He is perfectionist by personality traits and married to the job owing to that occupational stress become the part of life.
Therapeutic dialogue and intervention
Normalizing emotion
Therapist: Many a people shutdown their emotion when they feel pressured to feel something. When you think about sexual connection what emotion often raise up?
Client: I feel pressure and guilt
Therapist: When guilt arise, emotions shut down. Let me more understand your emotional world instead of what you should feel?
Techniques: Non judgement emotional exploration with psychoeducation
Expectation and beliefs
Therapist: What does it mean ‘connected sexual relationship’ to you?
Client: More passion, curiosity, excitement and enthusiasm.. but why i do not feel that way?
Therapist: Many individuals do not start with real passion in relationship, intimacy grow through emotional connection, create emotional involvement with your partner simultaneously desire can build up slowly.
Creating emotional attachment
Therapist: When you feel closeness with your partner, do you feel the fear for not enough to partner?
Client: Yes i do, i fear to disappointing her emotionally and sexually
Therapist: That fear is the villion of your life to destroy the desire. Your body protect shutting feeling down. Let’s build emotional safety first.
The major technique can be used Attachment inquiry and self compassion
Sensate focus exercise
Therapist: Another few weeks, just explore touch, closeness, eye contact, gentle exploration
- Gentle touch exercise without pressure of intercourse
- Appreciation daily basis
- spending quality time
Sexual Exploration
Client: I feel bit dominance, when intimacy take places in relationship
Therapist: Sexual preferences are natural and depend on person to person. Effective and open communication will open the door of intimacy. Let’s explore your identity exploration more deeply?
The major techniques to explore fantasy, consent, and role exploration.
The outcome of the session
Reduced guilt and pressure surrounded with intimacy
Improve communication and attunement
Introduce sensuality practices, not pressure.
MBH/AB